lenten journey, day 19 — a prayer for less pride

Pride is a cancer. It grows within us, often undetected, until all our humility is eventually consumed. And when pride is left unchecked, something dies—maybe a friendship, a ministry, the respect of peers, or even our proper view of God.

Yet from a very young age, the world teaches us that pride can be a virtue. We’re to be proud of coloring inside the lines, proud of our academic honors, proud of our IQ, proud of our talents, proud of our income, proud of our wise choices, proud of our children. If we’re not proud of these things, then we’re surely suffering from low self-esteem. We might even be (gasp!) doormats, destined to be walked on by those with more confidence. Worst of all, we might actually be accused of false humility.

As pride puts down deep roots in our hearts, we begin to think and speak endlessly of ourselves and our problems/successes (depending on the sort of day we’re having). The world is our audience, held in rapt attention by our fascinating life experiences. We are the center of our universe.

I will confess that the sin of pride has been a lifelong struggle for me. There are vivid snapshots I hold in my head of specific times when wicked pride caused strife and pain and regret. Some might say that the enemy is taunting me with these memories; but I say that God, in his mercy, has preserved them as high-definition reminders of the consequence of this cancerous sin.

And I freely admit that God has been a diligent Father, correcting me in the most painful ways at times, when my haughtiness or self-righteousness try to seat me on a throne that can only be occupied by him. Proverbs 16:18 says “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” If my life had a motto, this proverb would surely be in the running. Yes…God’s pruning really, really hurts sometimes! But a pruned vine will always bear more and sweeter fruit than one left to grow improperly. So the cutting is a kindness, really.

So how can the disease of pride be cured? If I knew, then I probably wouldn’t continue to wrestle with it on a daily basis. But what I do know is this: all good things come from the gracious hand of God. If there is any talent, any blessing, any goodness in my life, it is a gift—an undeserved gift—meant to glorify the Giver. When I manage to remember this, it resizes and humbles me.

Gracious Father, may the purpose of all my remaining days be to make much of you, and little of me. Lord, I ask for more pruning. Resize me. Take my pride and rip it out by the roots. It is a cruel cancer, and I need your healing. I understand that this is probably a dangerous prayer to pray…but God I’m so desperate for more of you in my life that I’m willing to be broken in the process. Thank you that salvation comes only through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus, so that I can't boast in my own good works, but only in the cross of Christ. Yes, and amen.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” — Ephesians 2:8-9

“In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.” — Psalm 10:4