lenten journey, day 30 — a prayer for the lonely

During high school, I worked at a small, family-owned deli on Sunday afternoons. It was always slow on Sundays, so the owners’ kids and I would sit around one of the formica tables and play gin rummy for hours on end. When customers did come in, we would take turns helping them.

One day, a plainly dressed man in his late 50s came in and stood at the counter without acknowledging us as we played our game. I got up, put on my apron, and asked for his order.

“Just get me a sandwich,” he said. I can still remember the flat tone in his voice 30 years later.

“OK…what kind of sandwich would you like?” I asked, trying unsuccessfully to make eye contact.

“Doesn’t matter,” he said.

After he paid for the turkey and swiss on wheat that I had prepared, he sat at one of the tables, ate half the sandwich, and left without a word.

I have interacted with countless thousands of customers in my life, but this man is the only one I remember with so much clarity that it’s like a movie playing inside my head every time I think of him. And I think about him a lot. Why? Because he wore loneliness like a shroud. And because I just kept on playing cards while he ate alone.

For many years, I prayed that God would send him a friend, or a wife, or even a little dog that would wag its tail and jump up and down every time he came home. Then, as the years slipped away, I prayed that he wouldn’t have to take his last breath with nothing but the TV to keep him company.

I suspect that the sandwich man is long dead. And it’s too late now to get up from my stupid card game to sit with him while he ate his supper.

Father, I’m so sorry for all the divine appointments I have been too selfish or preoccupied or busy to keep over the years. I have no doubt that the sandwich man was one of those appointments. Lord, I don’t ever want to shrug off someone’s loneliness like that again. From the moment you breathed life into Adam in the Garden, you knew that we would need other people nearby to laugh with, to cry with, to work with, and to play with. God, would you make your presence known to the lonely tonight? They’re like lost sheep who need the nearness of the herd; be the Good Shepherd and rescue them from their seclusion. Then send them a friend. I’d like to be their friend, Lord. Would you take my eyes off the card games in my life so that I can see the lonely, lost sheep all around me? Yes, and amen.

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone.”
— Genesis 2:18a

God sets the lonely in families… — Psalm 68:6a